Wankey

Hey you! Yeah you, the one on the corner in the sleeping bag who can't be moved. Dude, get some dignity. MAYBE SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Hiking fares up to 2.20 and getting rid of weekday nitelinks/after 3am nitelinks?

there was no free art.... 

left 

That is great news for me. I hope a new, chick flick will come on screen soon, one that has an equally superficial plot but that has a dynamic character interplay.... with sexy results mmmMMMM. I just didn't believe Marissa or Ryan don't talk to me about that lesbian attention stunt she pulled or Ryan's crippling eye disability. Crippling in that he will never get another job because the only character he'll be able to play will be an awkward teenager, and he'll be too withered to play that. Unless of course it was that "Jack" movie where he grows supernaturally, or has to do a documentary on prolangeia

in relation to Colin Farrell's comment in his sex tape while going down on a girl

Should be an exciting day. or just an excuse to not study.

Such a pointless video but I love it.

I had always been aware of Spaghetti Cat but never knew what he was famous for.

The first official Wankey Blog poll has come to an end and 4 of the 8 voters decided it was going to be fine in 09.

Fine	4 (50%)
Wine	1 (12%)
Crossing the Line	0 (0%)
Decline	1 (12%)
Waistline	2 (25%)

Season 3, episode 8:

Linderman: Maybe you could talk to him one last time, convince him to back off.
Arthur Petrelli: When Nathan digs his teeth in, he doesn't let go.
Linderman: So what do we do?
Arthur Petrelli: Read your Shakespeare. When the son challenges the father, only one is left standing. I should have one last talk with him, I owe him that.
Linderman: What happens if that doesn't take?

Type rest of the post here (shown after clicking read more)

I wish i had more money.

Is this overkill? Not really... they're just that good. You actually cant be upset waking up to this. 

From stepheniemeyer.com :

I'm very happy to announce that Taylor Lautner will be playing Jacob Black in New Moon and that he's doing so with the enthusiastic support of Summit Entertainment, the producers, and Stephenie Meyer.

The characters in Stephenie's books go through extraordinary changes of circumstance and also appearance; so it is not surprising that there has been speculation about whether the same actor would portray a character who changes in so many surprising ways throughout the series. But it was my first instinct that Taylor was, is, and should be Jacob, and that the books would be best served by the actor who is emotionally right for the part. I think that fans of Twilight the book and the movie will be surprised by the Jacob Black that Taylor will bring to the screen in New Moon; and I'm looking forward to working with him and the rest of the cast in realizing the film.

very best

Chris Weitz

I'd just like to add that I was very much a part of this decision. My first priority was always what was best for New Moon—what was going to give us the best possible movie. I'm truly thrilled that Taylor was the one who proved to the director, to Summit, and to me that he is the best possible Jacob we could have. And I'm very much looking forward to seeing what he's going to bring to Jacob's character this year.

- Steph

I adopted a dog from a rescue organisation here in...in the area. And eh...I got it neutered and I got it trained, and I paid my vet extra money to take it home to let it sleep in the bed with him that night instead of a cage. I spent $3,000 on this puppy to acclimate it to train it to be with our cats, and it just was too much energy and too rambunctious. My hairdresser, who I see every single day, she and her husband have two little girls, eleven and twelve years old. They were just looking for a puppy, they have a dog, and they said "We love Iggy, can we have Iggy?" Iggy has been with them for two weeks. I get updates every day and pictures every day of how happy Iggy is and how much their daughters love Iggy. The organisation contacted me yesterday and said "How's Iggy?" and I told them the truth, I didn't lie. I said "Iggy has a great home." Well, I guess I signed a piece of paper that says that if I can't keep Iggy it goes back to the rescue organisation. Which is not someone's home, which is not a family. These two little girls had bonded to the dog. I thought I did a good thing. I tried to find a loving home for the dog cos I couldn't keep it. I was trying to do a good thing. And because I did it wrong, those people went and took that dog out of their home and took it away from those kids. * And I feel totally responsible for it and I'm so sorry. And I'm begging them to give that dog back to that family. I just...I just want that family to have that dog. It's not their fault, it's my fault. I shouldn't have given the dog away. Just please give the dog back...to those little girls. I'm sorry I didn't call you, I'm sorry I did the wrong thing. Just give it back to the family. Please please please.

* Breaks down

Yeah, no, I've done it. After a good month of reading I finally finished the Twilight series. While the first book was often dire, they did get better as I went on. So now it's going to be back to reality, no more Bella and Edward, just have to wait til the next film comes out to get my fix. It's bittersweet, definitely bittersweet. Em, listen if you haven't read them, do. Bit of a commitment but sure, do it. Yeah no yeah.

2 FUCKING 20. shove it up yer arse Dublin bus.

Bella Swan. Get a real name.

Dickhead.

me: hey dee!
you back?
Sent at 7:25 PM on Sunday
Deirdre: im not baby
im sad here . and i didn't hear from you again
me: sorry...been really busy
and i didnt understand why you wanted US dollars when you were in the UK
dont they use punds?
pounds
Deirdre: they use pounds
me: why do you need dollars then?

Deirdre: they have invited the Interpol already and have been giving till tommorow to pay the bills
or they will detain me in Custody ,
me: why do you need dollars?
Deirdre: can you help me with 1 thousand pounds
me: Interpol would never get involved in UK/Ireland affairs you fucking stupid prick
Deirdre: before tommorow
the bills is being listed in pounds and dollars
i mean it
me: Dee why cant you speak English properly?
Deirdre: THE METROPOLITAN POLICE
ok
me: you just said interpol
Deirdre: im sad and bored .

me: make up you're mind about your story
Deirdre: i am not allowed to get out of the hotel and my passport as been seized
me: your foolling no one
Deirdre: im not lying to you
me: Really...oh ok
Deirdre: Amy im just confused .
can you call me
me: yeh gimme a number to conatct you on
Deirdre: on the hotel phone .
me: go on
i need a number]
im worried about you you cu nt

Deirdre: (447031924352 )just tell anyone that picks the call that you want to talk to Dee room 112
ok
me: ill ring soon
you baldy twat
Deirdre: and i need 1,000 pounds.
me: i thought it was dollars?
Why dont you go to the embassy
Deirdre: can you do it for me today plx
i am not allowed
me: why?
where are you from?

Deirdre: my passport as been seized
by the hotel
me: where are you from?
Deirdre: UK
why are you asking that .
me: why would the hotel seize your passport if you were a UK citizen
too many loopholes in this story you fucking spa
Deirdre: because they feel i will run away
thehotel mangement is not taking it cool with me
me: have they hit you?
Deirdre: nd i forget my wallet in the taxi , i have the sum of 3500gbp on my wallet

me: listen ill try to get 5000 wired to you
what account do i wire it to?
Deirdre: they are just threatning me and we have been on logger head
me: you have been on logger head
right
where is that?
Deirdre: well i would like you to send it to the Hotel Secretary information .
via western union money transfer .
ok
me: Deirdre are you a man or a woman
Deirdre: it is faster and secure and i can be out of here by tommorow
you are funny Amy
me: so are you deirdre
Deirdre: are you doubting me ?
me: no not at all
you big shit
are you a man or a woman
Deirdre: why are you embarassing me
me: answer me or no money
man or woman?
Deirdre: i feel dissapointed that you are talking to me this way .
im a man
c'mon

me: whats your name?
Deirdre: what's wrong
me: hahaaaaa
Deirdre: deirdre farrell
me: deirdre farrell the man form the Uk yeah?
Deirdre: if you want to help me i would appreciate and i would get the money back to you once im out of here
me: are you well-hung Deirdre?
Deirdre: yeah i am
me: seriously?
Deirdre: can i give you the hotel info ?
me: how well-hung you are warrants how much money you will get from me?

Deirdre: i have up till tommorow to get myself out of this shit.
me: so....
how long have you been a man?
Deirdre: well im tired of your questions
me: if i gave you the money do you think you could find it in you to love me
i am very lonely
Deirdre: i have just few minutes to talk to you Amy
yeah of course
i would appreciate it alot
me: you would love me?
really?

Deirdre: my safety depends on when you send the money .
me: i am incredibly overweight
Deirdre: yes of course
me: you must know this before you promise to love me
Deirdre: i mean it ,
i would even take you with my boat to Austria ....
i promise sweetie .
me: wow
ok
i cangt wait
a boat to austria
a landlocked country
i love you deirdre
the monmey is on its way tomorrow
i promise
Deirdre: i just want the hotel bills offset by tommorow morning , before the metropolitan police get involve .
i can't wait either .
okay my love
i love you too Amy
here is the hotel secretary info to send the money via western union .
me: go on
quickly
Deirdre: Last Name : Simon

First Name : Terry .

Address : 23 king edward road , Hackney London UK e96 sl.
me: i cant wait to hold you
Who's Terry Simon
DEirdre please dont lie to me
im very fat and fragile
Deirdre: how much will you send ? and nce you send it email me the western union details
i can't wait to cuddle you around my arms
the hotel secretary
i can't have the money pick upmyself .
i can't lie to you Amy .
me: 5000 pounds i promise me love
i hope you're handsome
are you gay?
oh you rgone....
youve left me like everyone else has

Deirdre: hi Amy
sys froze
are you there ?
me: ys
my love
why are they allowing you internet access?
Deirdre: i got your offlines and i promise baby i will never leave you .
i am allowed to internet but not to food
me: water?

Deirdre: yes
so Amy i would like you to email me early tommorow morning onc you send the moeny to the hotel secretary information .
me: no problem my love
Deirdre: so i can give the western union details to the hotel secretary to have it pick up, and let me know the amount you are sending
ok
and i would hope to meet you as soon as possible , ok
Sent at 7:56 PM on Sunday
me: asap
cant wait to kiss u and stuff
i have soe hair on my face due to my obesity
i hope u dont mind

Deirdre: hi amy
me: hi lover
Deirdre: have been waiting to hear from you ,
i fel sad love
me: ?
Deirdre: im waiting to hear from you ,
me: are u not incustody yet
you fuck
Deirdre: the metropolitan police was here today and i was taking there
me: but they gave u internet access
Deirdre: i had to plead that i would raise it in 12 hrs
me: what exactly have you done wrong?

Deirdre: yeah im back in the hotel ,
i was giving 12 hrs ,
me: and the hotel for free
Deirdre: i did nothing
i am usng the internet to talk to you .
the hotel is not for free ,
me: why do the police want you
Deirdre: if you don't want to help me out of this siutuation then i feel you don't care for me ,
i lost my wallet in the taxi
i just get into this shit , and i feel so sad here .
me: why cant your parents help you?
Deirdre: i don't have there phone # offhand
ok
baby i would refund the money back to you
i love you Amy
me: why cant you ring your house?
i wa talking to your mum today in Dunnes
Deirdre: i am not with my phone here baby
i do not have the number offhead ,
i don't wamt pressure on my family , i belive it is something i can handle ,
me: i see
Deirdre: ok
are you helping me or not ?
me: but ur ma said to me today that it was grand
she'd help you out no bother
Deirdre ...
the truth is.....
Deirdre: my safety depends on when you get here .
me: ....i have no money
but i have a big heart for you
and a big body
Deirdre: i love you Amy
even without money .
when i get out of this shit i hope to meet you soon
okay so we can talk my love
me: definitely deirdre you blonde haired little pixie
Deirdre: lol
how is your day going?
are you missing me ...
me: this is WEIRD

Deirdre: what?
WEIRD
?
Amy i feel dissapointed in you .
me: why?
its weird that i have fallen in love with someone i have never met
Deirdre: i am asking you for a help that would be refunded in 24 hrs
i would get your money back to you .
me: i suppose its not that weird consdering im terribly obese and emotionally unhinged
Deirdre: i just need to get out of here .
im sad here baby
i don't want this situation to get to my praents , if you can help me , i don't mind paying you back with an interest to get out of here today
me: you rmum knows
i was talking to her in dunnes
by the bagged lettuce
Deirdre: ok
well can you do it for me ?
or you call mom and give her that information
me: ring ye rma u twat
Deirdre: im not asking her
and im not talking to anyone
im dissapointed in you amy

me: disappointed?
Brecause i ate that box of french fancies earflier?
how didi u know that?
can u run away from thotel?
Deirdre: I CAN'T
YOU ARE NOT CARING TO ME
me: hahahaaaaaaaa
listen do u want me to ring u?
bear in mind i have a deep voice due to excess fat pressing down on my larynx
Deirdre: IF YOU LOVE ME , GO TO A WESTERN UNION AND SEND 1,650 GBP ON THE HOTEL SECRETARY NAME
SO I CAN BE OUT OF HERE

me: stop shouting i cant take this!
I hav eno money
i spent it all in Aldo's
Deirdre: then fuck off
im not special to you .
you told me that you will send 5,000gbp today morning
me: i wanted you to love me
you conned me for money
i conned you for love
we both leave hurt
wow
its like a film
Deirdre: and you didn''t email me
so bye if you can't help me .

me: and with that our love floated away like a shiny red balloon that escaped the loose grasp of a child
Deirdre: if you do so you should have get me out of this shit .
i am giving 12 hrs .
what a fuck .
me: u said 12 hours yesterday
u re lying to me my love
i am sad

Mother took down the tree today. Very sad.

Kiefer Sutherland fought in Vietnam but was bullied out of the army
for having a teddy bear called Gerry.

Kiefer Sutherland sided with Jade Goody and agreed that Shilpa Shetty
was " a filthy little paki". He also texted 3 votes into Big Brother
against Shetty.

Kiefer Sutherland founded an e-mail thread in 2005 called 'Christmas
Day Generic E-Mail Wankey'. The thread has since spawned over 17,000
e-mails.


Kiefer Sutherland is growing by 4.2% per annum. Doctors say this is no cause for alarm.

Of an evening Kiefer likes to put on lipstick (fave shade is 'pink
fancy'), tuck his penis between his legs and dance to 'Footloose'
He maintains that Kevin Bacon bribed his way into that role, even
though Sutherland had it in the bag prior to the monetary exchange
between Bacon and the production company

Locals in Tennessee claimed to have spotted Sutherland at night and
reported strange crop circles in the vicinity. The claims were later
proved to have been hoaxes.

Kiefer Sutherland has several identities which he goes by including an
old man called Rex,
Sutherland also once vomited into his purse on a night out in a taxi
but managed to conceal it from the driver.

Having heard rumours that there was a jam-making course in Donegal
that featured on the CAO, Sutherland moved to Ireland in a bid to
pursue his lifelong dream. His hopes were shattered however, as the
rumours were proved false. Sutherland has since campaigned against
foundless but persistent rumours in South Dublin Schools that can
easily be checked in the CAO handbook.


In the early 1990s Kiefer Sutherland formed a community action group
against Cyndi Lauper and her pop anthem 'Girls just wanna have fun'.
Sutherland argued that the lines 'Oh Daddy dear you're still number
one' had Oedipal implications and thus raised serious questions as to
what kind of fun Cyndi was promoting.

Kiefer Sutherland loves stripes


A number of years ago Sutherland took over the running of UCD
administration and proceeded to royally fuck up everything that he
laid eyes on.


Sutherland was done for indecent exposure in 1998 when he used his
genitals to try to save an old woman who was being mugged of her
belongings. 'I thought the sight of my tackle would scare the culprits
away' said an embarrassed yet very self-assured Kiefer.

Sutherland is reputed to adore children. He is rumoured to have said
that they are indeed his life

Sutherland is reported to find women with degrees in psychology highly
attracted. Sources say that he doesn't care if it's a pass
degree...any standard will do...as long as it's psychology.

"Kiefer Sutherland led me on for two weeks; fingered me round the back
of the bike shed; then fucked off!

Broke. My. Heart."

Kiefer Sutherland was the inspiration for the hit musical 'Cats'.
Kiefer Sutherland may have a long forehead but he complements it with
a wide heart

Sutherland is said to have choreographed the entire show for Garth
Brooks' 'Ropin' The Wind' tour.

Dee: Keith Sutherland has an embarrassing penchant for eating the gick
found inside his belly button, and cycling to the cornershop on LSD to
get ciggies he doesn't need as he has a life time supply of them in
his top drawer on his bedside table

Amy: Who the fuck is Keith Sutherland?

Dee: His retarded brother.

Kiefer Sutherland invented the hat

Kiefer Sutherland has never heard of, and resolutely denies the
existence of his estranged brother Keith Sutherland

Kiefer has 4 stomachs, one for each food group.

Kiefer Sutherland has many impersonators including a foxcabien "Keifer
sutherlang"

Kiefer Sutherland once burnt a fridge.


Surprise Interesting Farce :SIF: Kiefer Sutherland's worst fear is
crash-landing in the jungle while parachuting


As a result, Kiefer Sutherland has an obsession with inventing compact
instruments to help him survive in such a situation. Like edible
shoes, and Swiss-army-jeans

Also a jacket that can act as a tent

Sutherland has in fact invented a nutritious body sock. This bodysock
can be worn under all garments and, once serious nutritional
deprivation sets in, said sock gives the body its required daily
amount of essential nutrients.
100% true
Kiefer finds women who look like moons highly attractive
He wants to call his next born child Lunar Sutherland


Kiefer Sutherland got dicked while dicking a duckling in a nearby park
in front of a policeman!! He was charged with 1st degree bestiality.

Kiefer's defence was: the duckling was slutting around like her ma

we know the type. arrive at a dire party, music blaring 4 people doing coke off a christmas tree rooms cleared out and a smoking garden otuside as they obviously trhought there'd be a lot more people then there was and some munt who probably refers to himself as a "sessioner" is at the elaborate decks hitched up to a huge amplifier so that the remaining 10 people at the party cant hear each other.

A collection compiled by some of the members of Wankey:

1. Christy Moore - Ride On
2. Spice Girls - Mama
3. Elton John - Candle in the Wind
4. Stereophonics/Rod Stewart - Handbags and Gladrags
5. Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
6. Barbara Streisand & Neil Diamond - You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore
7. Here I Am Lord
8. Garth Brooks - The Dance
9. The Fray - How to Save a Life
10. Rolf Harris - Two Little Boys
11. Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven
12. Radiohead - Street Spirit (Fade Out)
13. Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah
14. Mark McCabe - Maniac 2000
15. The Muslim Call to Prayer
16. Maria Callas - La Mamma Morta
17. Bruce Springsteen - Streets of Philadelphia
18. Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge over Troubled Water
19. Chumbawumba - I Get Knocked Down
20. Elvis - In the Ghetto
21. B*Witched - C'est La Vie
22. Be Not Afraid

we get it kate. you're from London. you're alternative. you like dresses. you like big fringes. you like cake. you like tea. you're from London. you like polka dots. you like playing the piano. you like sparkly red shoes. you like to say "shit" in your songs which gives you edge. you like doing quirky covers of already popular songs. you like doing strange collaborations with people who the public wouldnt necessarily pair you with to make of course, a quirky song. you're from London.